It’s Not All Bad

Following the hiatus in the media lately, I am shocked with the lack of support shown for the “Funeral family” by others in the business. So, speaking for the funeral directors who put their lives on hold to care for your loved one, I want to raise a glass (or two) for those sacrificing sleep, important dinner parties, birthdays and weddings so they can serve you.
Yes, the whole “$1 cent government contract” sucks, but the real problem there is lack of education to the public leaving room for misconceptions. The public simply need more information when it comes to coronial cases. Yes, the body needs to be removed from the scene of a crime or accident just as a forensic cleaner needs to remove traces that it occurred. You’re not going to call in the forensic cleaners to do a bond clean of your apartment, and you’re not required to arrange the final goodbye with the company that removed the body. The body is not taken to the funeral home following a coronial case, rather the city morgue for autopsy and further investigation. The family can choose any funeral home they wish for the service.

Reading comments on the latest stories, it breaks my heart that the majority of Australia believe funeral homes perform mass cremations, swap coffins and only in it for the money. Just like any industry, there have been unfortunate cases and this creates the stigma attached to the death care profession. Funeral Directors care for your loved one as if they were a member of their own family. I’ve worked on services where staff almost pass out in the heat as suits stick to sweating backs like jellyfish while serving families. I also know a funeral director who paid for a butterfly release out of his own pocket for a young girl who died and the family were lacking finances. Furthermore, we leave a flower on the pillow after removing the deceased and apply moisturizer to their skin with care to prevent dehydration from the cold environment in the mortuary fridge. Every small step is taken in caring for the deceased and their families left behind. I have assisted a mortician on a case where the body was in no state to be viewed or dressed due to not being found for a long time. Respectfully, she placed his suit over the top of him neatly as if he was wearing it. She didn’t have to do that, no one would ever see him again but this is the kind of respect and dignity practiced by funeral homes and people need to be assured of this!
Funeral directors are some of the most dedicated people you will ever meet. The mortuary staff do everything they can to take care of your loved one with respect and some hearse drivers will study the route for the service the following day in their own time over their dinner plate. Of course there are fees and big money involved in arranging a funeral, but it’s not so the funeral director can go and jump in his Porsche parked out back. People don’t realize what goes on behind the scenes, including a hard working team. The only person who sleeps when someone dies, is the deceased. There is the “Transfer” crew who remove the body anytime of day or night, coffin trimmers, the mortuary staff, hearse cleaners and media professionals who create the photographic slide of memories. These people need a wage to support themselves and their own families, and the hearses need regular servicing, filled with fuel, and that’s a whole fleet of cars! Look how expensive it is for us to have our own on the road! Imagine up to twelve vehicles! Then there are the flower orders, staff uniforms pressed professionally…the list goes on. There are expenses behind the scenes that the majority of the Nation don’t even think about.

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It’s expensive maintaining your final ride.

When my poppy died my nan turned to me and asked if he would be cremated with others. It broke my heart and it’s an all too common belief that many coffins are reduced to ash in a massive burn off. The cremation retort is built to accommodate one coffin at a time and following cremation, the remains are kept with identification and this is very strict practice. It’s frustrating when I know how hard the crematory staff work only to be slandered. The crematory staff are some of the loveliest guys you’ll ever meet and incredibly strict when it comes to paperwork. One day I had forgotten to get a form signed before I left the funeral home on route to the crematory, and the staff were on the phone to funeral home management for a length of time before he took the body from my care.

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The cremator is designed for one coffin at a time.
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From perfect petals to coffin handles, there’s expenses behind the scenes you haven’t even thought about.

Funeral directors are not out to get you or use your grief to fill their wallets. They genuinely care for your loss and are there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and would probably miss their own funeral to be at yours.

xx

2 thoughts on “It’s Not All Bad

  1. Salute! To you and all who serve the friends and family of those who have stepped beyond our grasp. I applaud your dedication and have witnessed the care and sacrifices you mention a thousand times if not more. As a Hopsice RN, I would often find myself traveling through soup thick fog, trying to negotiate invisible black ice on curves and hills, crossing washed out culverts where lanes once existed earlier in the month, and plowing snow with my car in frantic moonlit searches for homes I had never been too. And all this at 3 AM. But I was never alone in this adventure, the funeral directors and their assistants were having to also make this same journey. At times, they would talk me in, or meet me out at on a desolated intersection. Other times, I was talking them in or meeting them. We shared this experience. And when I was new to the hospice profession, long ago, they were most understanding and kind. They made what seemed to me, like an incomprehensible task, a dignified and gentle affair which served to maintain respect and soften the long process of grief ahead for all concerned. Today, some of these people I can still call friend. I am sincerely honored to have been even a small part of this process…Thank you so very much!

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