Last night I was walking my Maltese around our quiet neighbourhood. This is my favourite time to walk as you get a glimpse of the other lives around you. I love watching the stories that take place in the homes lining the streets with sleepy glows. (In a non-creepy way. I don’t peer into people’s windows from their gardens bushes, I promise).
I passed a house with a young father clapping as his toddler fumbled but made it on two feet to the front picket gate. In the next house, a family from India was preparing a mouth-watering curry. My tummy grumbled. A few houses down I saw a bedroom with a ceiling of fairy lights and a girl count a mathematic quiz on her fingers at her desk. My dog growled at the cat purring on the manicured lawn proudly, and I tugged on the leash. We passed the next home, where the grand entrance was framed with LED lights. The manufactured garden suggested a peaceful ambience yet it was anything but inside. A man and woman were screaming, arguing over who was meant to collect the kids from school.
The air was sweet with the scent of Jasmine and Snowflake. My Maltese stopped by a flower bush that looked similar to one we had in our garden as kids. I picked a flower and sniffed, but inhaling Spring time too deeply, the petals were sucked into my nostril. Spluttering and laughing to myself I pictured my headstone:
Here lies Emma Jane. Killed by a flower.
Only my gravestone could read that. Because every time I see a flower I like, I inhale the heck out of it.
Some years ago I spent three months living on the South Pacific Islands Samoa. While roaming the country with sea salt mattered hair, I met a world traveller called Bernard. He hadn’t been home to his country, North America, in over a decade. One day, while sipping from a coconut on a wobbly bus that rattled over every stone in the road, he said to me: “A flower blooms to be looked at, smelt and loved. When you pick a flower all the life it has will be given to you. It does not die, it simply turns brown as you now hold all of its colourful life.”
As I trotted home, I could have been back on the island. The air was warm, smelt of barbeque and there was a tropical touch in the breeze. I continued smelling the flower and pondered a little. Metaphorically, we could be the flowers. We get plucked from a garden (when we are born) we get married (looked at and smelt) we turn brown and wither up (End Of Life) and then The Universe holds our colourful life. (The After life).
I have been fulfilling work placement at a hospice facility to support my End Of Life Care studies, and I decided to take a bunch of fresh flowers into work for the front reception desk. When I walked through the sliding front doors, I discovered one of my favourite patients had passed away during the day. We lit a candle and cried a little as the funeral directors arrived to take her away, and I placed one of the flowers on her pillow. For this blog post, I will call her Daisy.
Her grey hair was always pulled back and fastened at the nape of her neck with a silver clip. Even in her final days, she always loved to look pretty. Daisy had said to me over many cups of tea that her fondest memories were spent in her garden. She confessed to me that since her husband had passed away ten years earlier, she had become quiet and content with her flowers. She busied herself with her plants, her Better Homes and Gardens subscriptions and making wind chimes. His funeral was quaint; she recalls behind her teacup. She remembers her young grandchild drawing smiley faces on the service flyers. It was a muddy day, the burial in the small cemetery by the local church with the steeple spooky against the backdrop of rainy clouds.
Daisy and I were friends. We laughed, we cried, I helped her with Find-A-Word quizzes and often brought flowers for her room as I knew she dearly missed her garden.
I find it ironic that my Flower Friend passed away that day. When the flower was sucked into my nostril, Daisy had already passed away. Maybe she was accompanying us on our walk last night. Who ever knows?